“it’s not you; it’s the world…”
Everyone copes with vast, external changes differently; some people (men) may need more time or support to adjust to the all weird stuff that’s happening with everyone, within you. It’s frustrating, and it’s hard not to take it personally, especially when your masculinity is hinging on it, but things are in such heavy recalibration with that -women’s, as well as men’s, masculinity is taking such a pounding, it’s okay to take things one day at a time.
Mars in Cancer can be easily triggered, especially under the square from Chiron, which may open up old emotional wounds. It’s not just you, everyone’s ‘masculine’ is feeling a bit roughed up, everyone’s feelings are valid -not just our own. If you spiral into the belief that only your feelings are worth defending, anger and conflicts can easily escalate. Mars/Chiron is also impacted by a hard aspect from Saturn, raising the propensity for frustration, denial, and delay in dealing with emotionally triggering situations, especially around abandonment and rejection. It could be paralysing, especially on the ‘marital relations’. Chill out. Don’t take it personally.
– Pacify, don’t Massify.
The pain I feel as a man is like an unrelenting shadow that follows me wherever I go. It’s a dull ache that tugs at my heart and leaves me feeling lost and disconnected. Growing up, I was taught to be strong, suppress my emotions, “man up, “, and callously push through any pain. But this attitude only served to bury my wounds deeper and left me feeling like a fraud.
My masculine wounds run deep, stemming from a childhood marked by a string of abandonments, absent fathers, exposure to toxic masculinity, and societal pressures to conform to rigid gender roles. I grew up feeling like I had to prove my masculinity at every turn, ridiculed if I didn’t, even if it meant sacrificing my own well-being. It’s a feeling that still haunts me to this day.
But it’s not just the external pressures that have wounded me. My own internalised beliefs about what it means to be a man have also contributed to my pain. I’ve struggled with feelings of inadequacy and shame for not being “man enough,” for not measuring up to some imaginary standard of manliness.
Throughout my life, wounds around my masculinity have been triggered in countless ways; triggers that left me feeling small and powerless, from being rejected by a love interest to feeling like I’m not living up to my potential. But I’ve also learned that these triggers can be a path to healing.
Through various therapies and much deep self-reflection, I’ve been able to confront the wounds of my masculinity and begin the process of healing. I’ve learned to embrace vulnerability, express my emotions, and reject the toxic cultural paradigms that have held me back for so long. It’s an ongoing journey, but I’m grateful for the progress I’ve made.
In the end, the pain I feel as a man is not unique to me. It’s a pain that is shared by countless others who have been wounded by toxic masculinity and societal expectations. But by acknowledging our wounds and working to heal them, we can break free from the shackles of a flawed and toxic masculinity and embrace a new, healthier way of being.
More on MARS/CHIRON:
That is very powerful thank you for being so vulnerable & authentic. May we all heal our masculine wounds and seize our power in the most compassionate expression.
Great courage and vulnerability being demonstrated amidst the turmoil and upsets and fears of our humanity.
Coming out of the darkness into the light of day and a new way of being coming to the fore.
Have faith in the collective overcoming all obstacles in our way.
The truth of our beingness revealed.
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