I STARTED A JOKE

Yeah, it’s been mass insanity. Not me so much, them. It’s everyone else… They lost the plot, they did… took the urge to control things too far, to the point of overkill, brought the whole system crashing down in a heap… nothing I could control.

It was meant to be a joke.

I tried to warn them but no, they all went mad with power anyway. I was a little involved, but I shoulda known with those guys. This is what I get for pinning my hopes and faith in total losers – idiots who would just piss it up, betray me to the hilt. They say that power corrupts and boy, did it ever!

Ah, well…

It’s seriously time to let it go now…

Yeah, this period brings me to the point of utter defeat, abject failure, declining health, diminished wealth, veritably little social credit, dishonour with my family, shame among friends and low self-esteem; and even though it feels as though I’ve hit rock bottom, the end of the line as it were, stuck in a moment which I can neither look back nor forward; as much as I’m dirty for being stabbed in the back by those I thought I trusted, I can sense too that this moment promises a hint of change and maybe some new choices, if I let it be.

It’s time to stop the crazy struggle, accept this fate or destiny or karmic turn, give it all up to the inevitable forces of divine will and providence. What else am I supposed to do?

No use in struggling with it, or anyone. Those old ways of reasoning were full of holes, anyway. Those beliefs weren’t true. Can’t even string a logical argument together any more. Much as I feel betrayed and victimised, I also feel a sense of relief, like sweet release… clo­sure with it all… you know?

I know that I’m heading into a complete unknown… and it’s a bit scary, I know. But it’s time to let that fear go too, brace myself for whatever’s coming like an adult, maybe patch up what little dignity I got left…

ᴀᴤᴛʀᴏʟᴏɢʏØʄɴᴏᴡ ☽ ☌ ♇ | ☿℞ □ ♂ | ♄ ∗ Ch | ♄ □ ♅

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