angstoic.com Astrologer, Ang Stoic
Some transits are an utter energy vacuum. You feel dissatisfied, inadequate, hopelessly ineffectual and cut off from life, and though you may try to mask the underlying doubt beneath a façade of normalcy, you sure feel drained. There’s this gnawing sensation, a hunger for something more, a longing to quench an insatiable thirst within, but what is that? and how? with what??
You already have everything you need, done everything you can, been all things to all people. Now there is just this feeling that something is not quite right; this fraud; imposter. And sure, while you may outwardly deny feelings of melancholy, still managing to fool some of the people – even kid yourself, with that stiff upper lip – you can’t help but find yourself on the precarious edge of uncertainty, grappling with desires that seem insatiable, silly or infeasible.
Life itself feels like a masquerade under a MARS/NEPTUNE. Everyone seems to be going through the motions, playing the obligatory role that others expected—being a kind, giving, and serviceable fellow—while inwardly feeling profoundly phoney, alienated thoroughly from being able to express these qualities.
This internal dissonance, where relationships and achievements cease to truly satisfy, means that the battered heart has run out of answers.
Listen to the nothingness. Feel the numbness. It may just be time for nothing.
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Wow. You nailed it, BIG time…. Existential Angst, anyone? Love your proposed solution… “It just IS, let it BE.”
This is exactly how I feel. Running around doing the do being all things for all people, utterly drained and with every forced reluctant smile I offer I get “pinged” with another reminder of my own inadequacy. I feel it’s time to drift, be alone, venture down to a restful cabin by water and be a stranger to others and even myself. If only.