angstoic.com Astrologer, Ang Stoic
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In this sense, much of the full potential of your productive output goes unfulfilled. Until you feel adequately ‘inspired’ or ‘in the right mood’ you will not even begin to generate the kind of effort that you feel is going to create something of lasting value, something that promises to give you the true, authentic sense of purpose that you crave to enjoy.
So, it is possible that you will feel like you are caught up in another, decelerating, retarding dimension, waiting to come down into the perfect space where you can give entirely of you full creative self. Frustrating…
In some cases you may feel like you are carrying a heavy burden, such as paying off some karmic debt to a child/children that require your attention/love/paytime. Again, you may feel incapable of actually delivering on this. This may be your own unfulfilled inner-child screaming for your adult attention, but the inner parent voice keeps saying “not now, I have things to do” or “now is not the right time”, or “I’m not in the mood”.
Still, if you can do something.
Anything.
At least make some effort. It may help you to further explore this elusive sense of purpose that you keep seeking. By all means, don’t stymie yourself, or paint yourself into a corner. By slowing down any real progress you are only avoiding the honest truth – that in actual fact you carry enormous inner fears of making any real commitment. No matter how much you would rather just be an observer, a muse of life, the more you keep being dragged back, one situation after another where the full weight of responsibility is put on you to show up and perform.
You can’t avoid it. The more you seek pleasure and enjoyment, the more responsibility you find yourself being lumbered with. You get the feeling that, wherever you go to be free, that someone is trying to teach you what life is really all about. Even your romances seem to take off fairly slowly. Even in these you are made to feel like you have great deal of growing up to do before any mature, intimate relationship can
flow smoothly.
No wonder you may be experiencing many self-doubts when it comes to expressing your creative abilities. It’s because you do not really believe that you got what it takes to measure up to other peoples’ standards. So, you deny and forbid yourself the very thing you really need. You psyche yourself out of really enjoying anything, fearful that nothing you do is going to be satisfactory, gradually pushing everything so remotely away from your life that nothing can possibly reach you in this present tense/space.
Begin to address and process on letting go of any childhood inadequacy fears which may still be operating in your unconscious. Karmically, you have to learn how to stop perpetuating such fears. This is essentially what is blocking your creative flow.
Come back, fully into the present tense and appreciate that this is your golden opportunity to create a real, lasting shine. As soon as you can get into this mindset, you will not only overcome many of your ‘blocks’ and ‘obstacles’, but you can also begin to make a truly important contribution to all humanity.