Before we dive in and help anyone, let’s work out how they got themselves into that mess in the first place. Let us not jump to the conclusion that they’re some poor, innocent victim who had no choice in being screwed over. Let’s hear the full story – one that provides some explanation that we can understand, something that makes sense, something that ties in with how they came to let themselves into a situation that screwed them. Only when they own their part in their dilemma can we begin to re-empower them with our assistance.
And then, let us work out what our own (true) motives are in helping them. Is it because we’re in the business of helping others, we are trained, with special tools and techniques? Or does their horrendously big problem conveniently make our shitty little problems insignificant? Does worrying about someone else’s crap somehow allow us to abdicate our own responsibilities? Or does rescuing someone make us a hero; give us an exultant power or ownership over them and all they’re worth? Or maybe we’re just in the habit of helping out other victims too – start our own possé, or because we’re bored, or feel that’s all we can afford as friends?
What is the true, underlying reason why we get into the victim/saviour deal? Are we really helping, or just complicating the problem for everyone?
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