Ok, I DO believe in angels, and lately I have taken to using the word ‘angel’ as an affectionate epithet addressing most of those people around me who share something true and significant for me.
But that being said, I must say that – in the most grounded sense – I don’t have those kinds of conversations that I often (quite enviously) hear people tell me that they have, or of dreams where they dance with angels who give them all sorts of messages. At least not yet.
My experience with angels is being able to deduce the underlying, often hidden messages that are left for us in every day experience. You know how they say, “things happen for a reason”? I believe that if you can make some sense, put some reason to what happens, then there, in a way, you have been in some communication with angels.
Sometimes things happen for no fucking reason at all… not for you anyway. Maybe sometimes things happen for others to put their own reason to, but not so much for you. Depends how deep or how personally you want to take things.
My rule of thumb, when it means something to me, then it was my angels talking to me. Rest of the time, none of my business.
Yesterday’s incident in the surf, when i came only a whisker away from being terminally sucked into the abyss by a massive tidal pull, taught me one thing – that we are often so close to losing it all. All of it. It was my realisation – in one solitary moment, that I had to make a determined decision on how to survive, to get out of this, for the dismay of never seeing my children was too much to let myself go down. The reminder of seeing my loved ones again drove me to listen… and listen with intent now, rather than become consumed by the chaotic circumstances happening around me.
The message came through was that i had to take every opportunity to work with the rhythms of the sea… I had noticed a certain cyclical pattern in all the chaos. There were moments where i could breathe and rest (I was already getting exhausted and taking in water due the relentless bombardment of waves and my initial confusion).
I had attained a certainty about this, in one short instant.
I then determined that if i swam toward a particular direction, and only when i got a certain break, i could gain back my ground against the fighting sea.
And I did.
In this certainty, I had mastered the elements. I created my own outcome. All i needed was the inspiration (to see my kids, my family, my beloved Jessica, my dear friends) and the rest was up to me. In this, I managed to find the presence and the strength within me to fight the rip and swim back to shore.
I made it back alive.
Ok, enough about the incident – what did it mean to me?
That we must not take anything for granted. Life is precious and could become so easily taken from us. And it’s not the life – it’s who we connect with that fills our life with meaning – those ‘angels’ that inspire us to keep going, that encourage us to stay composed and mindful about what it’s all about, who give us direction and guidance, who remind us always, and only with love, that we belong here, and that our own existence is not without meaning or value to these, and those we would yet come to affect.
Angels… they’re all around us.
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