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ERIS and the Judgment of Paris

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OK, so myth goes something like this:

There was a wedding banquet, thrown by Zeus (♃) a huge ceremonial convention of great pomp and significance, where all the gods would show up. However, due to her wild, unruly nature Eris () was not invited. It was assumed that she might just fuck up the entire party. Spurned by this unwelcome, and true to her scornful nature, Eris decided to crash the event, if only to throw in a highly-prized golden apple from the blissful Garden of Hesperides. On the inscription was “to the hottest goddess of them all”.

This created a scramble and great ruckus amongst the contenders, turning the affair into a veritable bitchfight, especially between Aphrodite (), Hera (Juno) and Athena (Pallas) who each made insistent claims to the apple for their beauty. Asked to adjudicate on who was the “hottest”, Zeus respectfully refrained, since his interests in goddesses were wide and varied and he did not want to cause waves for himself. Instead, he called on local Trojan boy, Paris to make the call – a man praised and renowned for his fair judgement.

In a sense, this becomes the first ever ‘Miss Universe’ contest, with all three goddesses putting it on for their young judge. Stripped naked, each quite beautiful in their own unique way, they also put out certain worldly goodies that might persuade their judge to choose them.

Hera, the mother of all goddesses, and wife of presidential god Zeus, is powerful enough to promise to make Paris King of the world if he chooses her.
Athena, goddess of law and order, whose beauty is not sexualised but holds her femininity secondary to her wisdom, offers Paris a glorious and respected career as a military ruler.
Aphrodite (Venus), goddess of the allure and sexuality, promises to fix Paris up with the most gorgeous mortal woman on earth – Helen of Sparta (who incidentally happens to be married to King Menelaus).

After some thoughtful deliberation, but mostly ignited by his loins, Paris chooses to prize Eris’ golden apple to Aphrodite.

Of course this causes all sorts of trouble, especially when Paris steals his prized Spartan queen away to Troy, sparking off the Trojan War – a 10-year epic saga, which involved much decisive interference from the scorned and enraged other two goddesses.

MORAL: It doesn’t take much to start strife and discord.

Ang Stoic is an astrologer and cosmobiologist based in Byron Bay, Australia. To book a private consultation, please complete the linked application form http://angstoic.com/full-comprehensive-reading/appointments/ . You will receive a full response about your reserved appointment within 48 hours.
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